Best SE Release Ever! Or not..

The next best thing to Napoleon Dynamite 2, "Its Napoleon Dynamite - Like, the Best Special Edition Ever!" & you thought it couldn't get any better...

Well it doesn't sound like it does! Its just FOX network's attempt to squeeze every last dollar out of the break they caught with Jon Heder & his genius sense of humor. 2 yrs later they changed the cover, added some more "Special Features" (that know one really watches anyways) & slapped the Special Edition sticker on it. Rarely are SE movies more then that anyways so its no surprise here.

But honestly, do you really need another reason to watch Napoleon Dynamite again? Who doesn't want to watch a movie about a moon boot wearing, afro sporting nerd dance, Pedro run for Prez. or Uncle Rico give some sweet advice? Special edition or not...

Peace Out Hommies!

Deutschland Cacaphony

Well, it seems that more people then I actually thought read my Cacaphony! I have had a few folks tell me they keep checking my site for new posts. As proof of that I was surprised to find my page counter @ 240 today!! I guess when you subtract the 200 times that I loaded my page today I have had 40 visitors & I haven't updated my blog since last December! So in trying to keep my adoring blog fans or fan (JPTH International) happy I'm going to try & do monthly blog. We will see how that works out... So many ideas but so little time...

Big Shouts to all you faithful voters out there who voted on which one of my "McGoo Approved" hats is truly the best. If you know me I'm a big hat guy & as you can see not just any old hat either. These are vintage & truly a specialty collection. If you noticed I had placed the pictures in my favorite order.. To late to look now, I already changed it! But I have updated the poll to the top vote takers with both the Ladykiller meshback & the Hawaii cowboy hat coming in with a big tie at 33% of the vote each! Both have their advantages with the Ladykiller being exactly that... Because every female hates the site of it! (In general most females dislike all my hats... ) The 7-up has the vintage 70's look & has been at the #1 slot for the past 5yrs & showing NO signs of going anywhere. But the Newschool cowboy has unlimited potential to be a #1 pick in the coming years. Who will win.. Only you can decide! Not that your opinion really counts but I would like you to think so.

On to bigger & more exciting things to take you away from work, school or whatever you are actually supposed to be doing now. I'm actually considering changing my site name to "McGoo International" since I now writing from incredibly boring Deutschland.. That means Germany JPTH... This is my 2nd trip here in the last 2 months & could be a doozy!
For entertainment purposes & times sake, I will give you my Top 5 initial opinions of Germany compared to Canada (This is where the Cacaphony takes place):

1.) Mullets (Style & Originality)... McGoo's Verdict!

2.) "Office Space" aka. Toilet... McGoo's Verdict!

3.) Women in Germany... McGoo's Verdict!

4.) Men in Germany... McGoo's Verdict!

5.) The Autobahn... McGoo's Verdict!

Well that's all from the G-Dot for now... More to come!

Interesting Finds...

Firstly, I was reminded after my wedding post that it was only 57/64ths of my new "family" that made fun of me at my own wedding. So I apologize to the 11% of my new "family" that didn't go out of their way to insult me... You guys are awesome & definitely are my favorite inlaws..so far... but mostly cause you let me come to the cottage...

So you may be wondering about my survey to the your right.. or maybe not.. but I'm gonna tell the story anyways. It starts in California when myself & co-workers didn't have a whole lot to do on a Friday night. This is where my colleagues decide to visit the local beverage store on our way to dinner. We arrive at a place called BevMo & I'm not really interested in about 97% of their selection but I managed to find a whole section called "Old Time Soda" with bottles of pop... Yes, you heard me... Bottles... Now, I'm talking the old school big boy bottles that you could return. Having not seen these in a long time I pretty pumped up for some bottled pop. This isn't just any soda it was some of the weirdest flavors & names I had ever heard. Some were funny (as you can see) & some were just plain scary. I managed to pick out three of the weirdest, yet coolest ones I could find. Hence the survey...

So here are the results which happen to be completely contradictory to what you guys voted..

The Winner: Drink Moxie - Blue Cream

Not only was the Mox the best tasting out of the three but the main reason I got it was the guy pointing at you on the bottle telling me to drink it. Almost Uncle Sam like... except without the whole joining the army thing. It just wins all around!

Runner Up: Kickapoo Joy Juice

The Kickapoo by far has the best name of the three & it has a sweet picture of some weird old guy but it basically tasted like a flat 7up.. So I give this one the runner up.

Now, the Love potion... If this is supposed to be love potion I don't want any love. I can't even describe the awfulness of the whatever flavor this drink was. To be honest I thought this was the winner when I bought it but I was ooooo so wrong & so is this drink.. I don't even rate this one!

So there you have it! Another 3 minutes of useless information brought to you by me.. Stay tuned for a much debated topic for my next survey coming your way!

California Mexicano!

So my 3 week stay here in California is drawing to a close & I will be returning home this weekend. During my stay here my company doesn't give us the luxury of flying home on the weekends so we are basically stuck here for that time. Not that being here in California is a bad thing... Its always nice to get away from your everyday work routine. One thing I have noticed... Its NOT as warm as expected! A misconception that I had & that my suitcase will tell you I packed for. It seems that winter hits here also, they just don't have to deal with the snow part of it! Needless to say it has been chilly but its definitely warmer then back home.. I know, I checked!

I'm staying in a town called Milpitas, the self proclaimed "Gateway to Silicon Valley" which is about 5 minutes north of San Jose. It seems that this part of California is highly Hispanic & unlike the lack of warm clothes, there is NO shortage of Mexican restaurants around here. This suits me just fine as my friends will attest of my love for Taco Bell & any Mexican food. The reason I love this kind of food (or most food as you can tell...) is not only because of the tastes' but more so for the adverse affects that it has on ones body. I don't believe females share this same love... but I'm positive my co-workers do.

I don't know of any other food that can do what Mexican food does to me other than some form of laxatives... Now I'm only used to the effects of maybe one meal of Mexican (ie.. Taco Bell) at home & those effects usually entail a "Flaming Ring", some strong odor's & mild cramps for the next possible two days. When I bumped up my intake here to 5-8 times per week I could only ask for nothing less than disaster. I'm wondering to myself if ones body could EVER adapt to this force & I mean force..WOW!! With my recent increased intake I think the effects have not only multiplied but have increased in veracity causing almost catastrophic consequences... & ones that only male humor could possibly appreciate! Now my problem is I have to try & rid myself of these effects as I'm sure my new wife would not appreciate my "talents" like my fellow co-workers & friends do. And when I return home I could possibly find myself on the couch quite quickly.

I guess time will only tell if my body can return to its "normal" state which isn't really normal at all. And the mystery of the "Mex Effect" will continue on & maybe one day I will find the find the answer(Like the caramilk bar!)...

Most likely over a bean burrito...

So I return...For Now

Well, it's been a while since my last post, a long while! It wasn't till a couple weeks after my last blog (so long ago) that people informed me that they actually read my blog!! That's kind of scary...in a good way...I guess...but in keeping myself global I come to you from the great state of California, USA where I find the time to re-establish my blog while I'm on business. Funny how I find time to write while I'm away for work but its hard to find the time at home where I should be able to, mind boggling really. Well mabye not.

To say I have been busy would be modest. The fact that I recently got married would explain why I have not had time to do anything... except plan for that very thing. While I give all the credit to my new wife who practically did everything (Ok, she did everything!) I must say that everything went very well, if not way BETTER than expected. The best part was we had no idea what was going on during the reception until we actually got there. Where we awaited an absolutely awesome reception put together by our good friends Andyroo & his wife. This included among many things, a hilarious and unexpected video from JPTH International, which involved him filming random people that he had convinced to congratulate us. (Soooo funny)

The whole evening was amazing but after a few videos/comments I noticed a common theme starting to shape up & one that I did not like the looks of (Note the picture above). It seemed that my wedding reception was the ideal opportunity for my "friends & family" to repay me & have an evening of laughs at my expense. Not that this is anything new for me but the whole night I was verbally beaten like a rag doll as comments ranging from my receding hairline, to things my wife was going to throw out when I went away (here!) & even attacks on my vintage 7-up mesh back hat & hat collection. It was an all out verbal barrage on me and it was in full force. As I started mingling about I found more & more people telling me how they felt bad for me. This concerned me & as the night went on I was lead to 3 conclusions:

1. People REALLY don't like my 7up hat...or any of my hats for that matter & especially the female gender!!


2. It really seems that people are more then eager to jump at the chance to make fun of me... .interesting...I seem to have offended a few of the new "family" members at one point or another.


3. At your wedding reception you are completely & utterly open to public humiliation, especially from your new "family"

As for me, I have since recovered after many nights of weeping & I'am not bitter at all. I also decided to take the high road from all these comments. I'm just glad that I had a pen handy so I could write down all my fans names.

Oddly enough, after returning all their gifts I had just enough for my first year of hair re-growth treatments & 3 new hats... Excellent...

Nokia vs. Motorola - The Results

First of all.. Please forgive me for my tardiness in the exciting results of my cell-phone off! A business trip came up & all of a sudden I was packing instead of blogging. I'm sure you will understand...

Well, the votes have been counted & the results are in! You were correct! The Nokia survived its terrifying encounter with toilet bowl while the honey water was just to much for the Motorola. (Quite possibly the honey factor was just too much..)

The Results:

Accident #1 - After blowing the Nokia phone off I tried to turn it on again & there was nothing!t so I thought this phone was done. BUT.. a big BUT... For some odd reason I tried to turn it on again a week later & the lights came on, nothing else though. From there it basically sat in my car for a few weeks, still not usable I might add. Then in the summer I was attending a wedding & had gone back to my car to get my camera & I saw a light flashing in my car! This was odd... I soon realized that my phone was flashing and it was trying to do something but I'm still not sure what. Anywho, I was able to turn my phone on again! (with odd flashing though..) The Nokia had come back to life!! When I bought a new battery the flashing thing & sudden phone shutting off went away. The Nokia is still living on today & as you can see a few weeks ago the Nokia received a flashy new cover for all its hard work! But with a month left before I can upgrade my phone it looks like this old dog is going on to live the high life... being sold on e-bay!

Accident #2 - Upon returning home I was able to scope out the damage on the Motorola... The outlook was bleak to say the least. On the bright side, after I had charged the battery the phone did turn on.. That's about all it could do! It turned on, the inside LCD screen had no light, a grand total of 3 buttons now worked. This consisted of the power button, menu button & the phone button. Not Good! Like the Nokia I let this phone brew a bit but it showed no signs of improvement. I believe the "honey factor" was just to much for the Motorola. What did I do u ask? Well I got a"basic" phone in the meantime, a Samsung X426 (In the process of being tested!) In a surprise to my Fiance & since the casing was brand new, I purchased a used V300 & replaced the "guts" of the phone. She didn't seem as excited as I did about the revivement of the Motorola. I then sold the old unworking phone for $71.. Yes, some guy from Texas actually bought the unworking phone. Beats me!

So my grand conclusion in all this! First of all, don't put electronics in water.. obviously.. especially honey water, its a killer! Second, Nokia is far more superior in durability & quality as you the people will agree. Nokia is the clear winner & I solute them for their highly superior phones which can take the riggers of everyday life, including "accidents" that involve toilet water.

Nokia vs. Motorola #2

So, were back again another day for Super Cell phone challenge off thingy! With "Accident #1" now under my belt (literally!) its now time to move on to the next "test" which also happens to involve water (not the toilet kind though) I told you 2 pea's in a pod!

Accident #2 - This next "test" involved my fiance K & her 3 month old Motorola V300 (Blue one on the left). As you can tell this phone was newer & far more superior to mine in both features & price... Although I must admit that we got a good deal on this phone so this could have been far worse then it was.

About 3 months ago now, around March I went away on a business trip to De Moines, Iowa.. (Ya, ya I know that's a story in itself) Before I went away K had gotten really sick, so much so that she missed 2 days of work. At approximately 6:33 am Iowa style, I wake up to my phone beeping to let me know I have a text message. Being the early stages of morning I turned over for a second to acknowledge I wasn't dreaming then went back to sleep. 6:37 am Iowa style, my phone is beeping again. Ok, getting kinda annoyed considering I still have a solid 13 minutes of sleeping left but being the trooper I'am I managed to go back to sleep.. FOR 2 more minutes that is! Until the beeping returns.

OK, NOW I'M UP... & not to happy might I add! I go over to my phone & find 3 messages from K & they read like this:

Message 1 (6:33am) - I accidentally dropped my phone in honey water but I think its alright.
Message 2 (6:37am) - The outside screen is flashing now!
Message 3 (6:39am) - Wait, the outside one works but now the inside one isn't!

I quickly responded and told her to "SHUT THE PHONE OFF & don't turn it on again!".. Now, I will give her the benefit of the doubt because she was sick & probably sedated. Without even seeing the phone I was pretty sure it was toast.. Honey toast that is .. Or did the Motorola live to see another day?

Vote for which phone you think will SuRviVe (on the right). Results (& explanations) will be posted on Thursday...